Opening a New Door

It had been a long time coming, brewing in my mind and soul.  Living with the indecision kept me in a state of inertia.  I knew what I ultimately needed to do, but agonized over the consequences of that decision.  A gathering of circumstances had led me to ponder my choices:

1. Life is short.  I first realized this when my dad passed away years ago at the age of 55, and I knew then it was important to follow your dreams sooner than later.  I started off all right, but then got sidetracked for twelve years.  This past year my supervisor's sixteen-year-old son tragically passed away and my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer.  Two more wake up calls I needed to heed.

2. My heart just wasn't in full-time teaching any more.  This concerned me greatly, as I was teaching at a school where the students truly needed fully committed teachers.  One retired teacher told me I needed to hang on for four more years for a decent retirement, but I knew I couldn't last, nor would it be fair to my students.  

And so I resigned from full-time teaching on the last day of school, with the "plan" of earning my living through art and substitute teaching.  The next day I went into a complete tailspin of panic.  What had I done, giving up that salary and those benefits?  What had I done to my daughters? How was I going to make it through August?  This went on for a week as I worked on cleaning out my classroom.  But then a little bit of serendipity came my way on a visit to the staff restroom.  We fondly call that particular restroom the Literacy Loo.  There's a small table in there, on which people set books they have read and want to share with others.  I picked up one of those books to read the recommendations on the dust jacket, and this book title caught my eye: The Road Less Traveled.  Naturally it brought to mind the poem by Robert Frost.  I have always loved that poem and all that it signifies, and I thought, "Yes, that's me - taking the road less traveled."  Suddenly I felt so much better.

August will still be shaky, but I know I have done the right thing - for myself, for my students, and for my daughters.  I believe I am empowering them to make better choices for themselves in their own lives.

Now as I return to my heart's path, I say good-bye to the road that I have been traveling for the last 11 years.

 childhood wonder

 sharing the joy of learning

 the delight of children

seeing them grow and turn into fine young people

I will still see my students when I return to sub, as well as my friends on this wonderful staff.  They are an amazing and truly dedicated group of people.  I hope to gain that same sense of passion as I embark on my path in art.